I feel...

Hmm. I have started to think more about my future. Especially about jodoh,hehe jangan dikecam diri ini ya. I can't deny that now i am worried about how am i gonna live my life if it's true that my dream of going to the UK comes true.

I also worry almost to the tulang hitam about SPM. Gah,the most important thing is i have to give all my focus to SPM yang utmost utmost punya focus. IPG or UK? Entah. It's okay,all i have to do first is work hard for SPM,and leave the rest to Allah. Lagipun,i have known about how to go study in UK and how to apply for visa student. Allah has Mercy upon me,please give me strength and confidence because ini bussiness sounds frightening,because you know i am just bloody scared to anything that needs me berurusan. Aduh,until when i wanna run from facing human? That's one of my big big problem.

Just know,my ex-classmate chatted with me on WhatsApp. Hmm. I really don't know what to say but,i just regret because i have gotten myself,chatting with the people,from the past. Wow,okay. Can we call that a great sentence? Aq pernah chat dengan orang dari masa lalu,i mean yeah i chatted with an Argentinian guy(argentinian? Is that right??),that day it was already Monday in Malaysia,but it was still Sunday in Argentina. Funny,right? I was talking to someone who was still in the past. And i can't believe it until now. Okay,back to the topic. Yes,after my transferation to the new school,i have began to not wanna know anything about them,i mean,yeah especially my friends( friends? ew ew). I hate it so much to see their happy selfie in any social media. You know what? I wanted to get out from the school because i didn't feel my existence there. I felt like they treated me like a crap and they didn't know that. I unfriend them on Facebook because i really don't wanna see them ANYMORE. I have done many thing to throw their existence away from my life. I will do anything yang boleh buat aq x tahu apa apa lagi about them. Yeah,go ahead and say

' ko okay pun tu time hari last ko disini '

' kenapa dii ko mo benci benci kami '

' kau tei tu yang tia pandai ikut rentak kami '

Bla bla bla from your mouth. Urgh. And now,it seems that i can't let go of my past. Everytime my mind plays the memories, i wanna cry. Does my hatred grow even stronger now?

Today,two person chatted with me on WhatsApp. And then,my classmate did the same,bukan chat lah,she just wanted me to know that it's her number. Okay,at first i kept their phone number in my contact list. But then,i deleted all of them.

Because i couldn't help myself from doing that. I feel a really strong notion of must-delete-them. I don't wanna keep them in my phone. Because if i keep them,i feel so disturbed and bothered. See?  Simpan number dorang pun aq x boleh. What has happened to me?

Please,i don't wish for your existence in my life anymore. I don't bring you to my new life,so it means you are belong to my past. Except for the people yang aq still appreciate kehadiran dorang,tu okla.

I mean it. To all of my classmate. And to all yang berkenaan. Sue you! Sue you!